Mentor in Memorium: Marshall Rosenberg (1934-2015)

Marshall_RosenbergMarshall Rosenberg, founder of the Center for Nonviolent Communication, was a world renowned peacemaker, psychologist, educator and author. He dedicated his life to the study and practice of the conditions that bring about peace. He taught millions, through his books and talks, the skills of honest expression, empathy, naming feelings, and asking for what we need in order to enrich our lives.

His early experience living in racially divided Detroit while he was training as a psychologist contributed to his developing a way to address conflict that emphasizes listening with empathy. He was also influenced in this direction by his association with the renowned psychologist Carl Rogers (1902-1987) who became his mentor, and asked him questions that were unanswerable at the time about how people can be loving and violent at the same time.

The Greater Good Center at the University of California at Berkeley said, “Dr. Rosenberg’s passing is a great loss to those inspired by his embodied, practical approach to peacemaking. And yet his work lives on as an inheritance, one that we may discover, rediscover and invest in ourselves and in one another, sharing these instruments of harmony that were meant to be shared in a diverse, complex, and complicated world.

One of fans of his work said, “Marshall Rosenberg is the mentor I wish we’d all had growing up. We learned to speak but not communicate and that has led to so much unnecessary personal and social misery.”

I’m interested in learning that’s motivated by reverence for life, that’s motivated by a desire to learn skills, to learn new things that help us to better contribute to our own well-being and the well-being of others. And what fills me with great sadness is any learning that I see motivated by coercion.

~ Marshall Rosenberg ~

Mentor in Memorium: Willie T. Barrow (1924-2015)

Willie_BarrowThe Rev. Willie T. Barrow was an American community organizer who championed civil rights for minorities, women, gay people and consumers; opposed the war in Vietnam and apartheid; and mentored generations of community organizers, including Barack Obama and Rev. Jesse Jackson.

Known as the “Little Warrior” (she stood 4 feet 11 inches), she was a fiery advocate for civil rights. She was known as a person who would never back down from her beliefs.

She was married for 56 years and wrote a book on how to get married and stay married. Her advice: “Don’t try and make your mate over. It cannot be done.”

She opened her home to Coretta Scott King, Dorothy Height, and Addie Wyatt, and told the Chicago Sun-Times in 2012 that “We have to teach this generation, to train more Corettas, more Addies, and more Dorothys.”

In a prominent place in her home is a signed photograph of Barack and Michelle Obama and their daughters. The White House released a statement shortly after being notified of Rev Barrow’s death in which the President declared, “To Michelle and me, she was a constant inspiration, a lifelong mentor and a very dear friend. I was proud to be among the more than 100 men and women she called her ‘Godchildren,’ and worked hard to live up to her example. I still do.”

Don Obe (1936-2014) Canadian Journalism Professor: Remembering His Legacy

Don_ObeDon Obe was an award-winning contributor to the Canadian magazine industry as an editor, writer, teacher and mentor. As a faculty member at Ryerson University he taught and mentored many of Canada’s brightest journalists. One of those he mentored, also an award winning journalist, said, “Don was one of the great characters of modern Canadian journalism. He could be funny, biting, sweet, profane, hard-assed and kind, sometimes simultaneously.

He was, for decades, the kind of journalist about which movies are made: hard-drinking and irascible with a soft heart. He was an important mentor of mine, as a writer, editor and, especially, as a teacher. But do you know what really matters? I owe everything I know about the soul of journalism to him.”

Another award-winning journalist said of his mentor: “I still hear him in my head: ‘Magazine writing is an intellectual exercise: it involves a lot more thinking than anything else; if you can’t write better than other people talk, you’re in the wrong business. Style at the expense of clarity is a waste of words.’ But quoting his advice does nothing to capture his passion for journalism and writing, especially narrative non-fiction, or his love of sharing that passion.”

“Lots of people, including me, learned so much about teaching journalism from Don,” said Ryerson professor Tim Falconer. “He really was a mentor to so many journalists in this country and that’s quite a thing to say about someone.”

Tom Magliozzi (1937-2014) Radio Talk Show Host: Remembering His Legacy

Tom_MagliozziTom and his brother Ray, known as “Click and Clack,” hosted National Public Radio’s Car Talk show and changed radio talk shows forever. Their off-the-cuff banter, interaction with callers, and ability to make fun of themselves became a model for dozens of radio personalities. Prior to their influence NPR radio was marked by formal, polite, and cautious talk.

Tom’s infectious laugh as he tried to deal with caller’s worries about their automobiles, made the show a hit with both car buffs and those who knew nothing about automobiles. “Tom actually hated working in any world,” says his brother Ray. “Later on, when we were doing Car Talk, he would come in late and leave early. We used to warn him that if he left work any earlier, he’d pass himself coming in.”

Tom became everyone’s car mentor. One listener said, “I know nothing about cars, but when I was responsible for my very own, you and Ray helped me figure out what to listen to and how to communicate it to the person who could fix the problem. As a young woman with a car, you gave me the confidence to deal with others in the car world. You have always been like family to me. You were the crazy, yet helpful uncle that was able to give you that advice that nobody else could give. You have made me a better person, and I will always be grateful for that. I wish you peace and am sending all my love to your family. Thank you for always being there for me.”

Marie Souvestre (1830-1905) French Feminist Educator: Remembering Her Legacy

Marie_SouvestreMademoiselle Souvestre founded the girls’ boarding school Allenswood, outside London, where her most famous pupil was Eleanor Roosevelt who went on to become one of the most respected women of the 20th century.

Eleanor’s  early life was marked by an alcoholic father and a vain and distant mother (both of whom died before she was ten), and she was sent abroad to boarding school.

Mademoiselle Souvestre was the headmistress of the preparatory school to which young Eleanor was sent. Fortunately, Mademoiselle Souvestre’s goal for her students was to expand their minds and attain intellectual independence. The school used French in many classes. Eleanor turned out to be better prepared than most for Allenswood, due to extensive French tutoring prior to enrolling.

According to Elizabeth Pearce of MentorResources, it was during this period that Eleanor lost her shyness and acquired the self-confidence which would stand her so well in later life. Mademoiselle Souvestre mentored Eleanor, and they made field trips to Venice and Paris, with Eleanor making the arrangements. Mentoring introduced the teenager to the lifestyle of an independent woman. Eleanor always credited Souvestre with forming both her character and her intellectual outlook. The First Lady’s newspaper column on politics and social issues, My Day, was read daily by millions.

The True Origin of the Term Mentor: Five Stories Claim Primacy

For many years while leading workshops on mentoring, participants would often ask about the origin of the term “mentor.” In addition, most texts and articles that provide an elementary understanding of mentoring typically refer to the Greek poet Homer’s The Odyssey, which scholars believe was composed near the end of the 8th century BC, as the origin of the concept of mentoring and the term mentor. But it could be that the prevalence of this tale of origin has come about because authors just copy the details from secondary sources without any verification from the original source. This seems likely because most writers don’t have the ability to translate from the original Greek poem by Homer, and so it’s possible that Homer’s mythical tale of the warrior and father, Ulysses, in the poem The Odyssey has become the predominant story.

There are, however, four other contending stories of the origin of mentoring. In order for readers to determine which story has the most credibility, I have included them here along with the much cited origin story.

1. Homer’s The Odyssey & Athena

In Homer’s Odyssey, Mentor is a trusted friend to whom Ulysses (in Greek, Odysseus) leaves the care of his household when he departs for the Trojan War (a ten-year battle). The goddess Athena assumes the form of Mentor and cares for Ulysses’ son, Telemachus (played by Franco Interlenghi in the 1952 movie version), until the war’s conclusion. Some variations of this story state that she actually accompanies Telemachus on his journey to search for his father at the end of the war. Some variations describe Mentor as a man (as did the 1954 movie version where Mentor was played by Ferruccio Stagni).

Kirk_DouglasWhether Telemachus was mentored by a man or a woman, the theme that someone outside of the family provided guidance and wisdom in place of a parent, resonates with contemporary ideas about the primary format of mentoring. This story has reached mythical proportions and is probably the most widely-cited story, but how many modern writers have actually read the Odyssey in its original Greek version? Or even seen the 1954 movie version starring Kirk Douglas and Silvana Mangano?

 

2. The French King and Minerva

In 1698 François Fénelon (1651-1715) was appointed by King Louis XIV

Minerva
Mosaic of Minerva by Elihu Vedder in the second floor corridor of the U.S. Library of Congress.

as a tutor to the king’s grandson, the Duke of Burgundy. Fénelon, a French Roman Catholic archbishop, theologian, poet and writer, provided instruction to his pupil through his didactic epic, Le Adventures de Télémaque (1699), the most popular book written in the 18th century. Fénelon uses the term “sage counselor” to describe his main character, the goddess Minerva, the Roman goddess of wisdom, who appears as Mentor. The book is clearly an imitation of Homer’s The Odyssey, and the lessons expounded in the book by Mentor are both more educational than Homer’s Mentor and directed towards guiding his pupil in how to become a peaceful and wise monarch. For example, the foundation lesson that Minerva passed on to to her charge on a regular basis was “Observe, reflect, question.”

The political views that Fénelon put in the mouth of Mentor, however, offended the king’s position on these same issues. As a result Fénelon was forced to leave the employment of the king for less challenging activities. The veracity of this tale of mentor’s origin is based on the idea that a person outside of the family provided guidance to a young person and encouraged that young person to explore in depth ideas that were challenging to contemporary viewpoints.

3. Ancient Africa & The Village

In ancient Africa, prior to the time of the Greek and Roman invasions, when a child was born, each village shared the responsibility for raising and educating the child into the customs and traditions associated with that village. This practice continues today and has become the rallying mantra: “It takes a village to raise a child,” made popular in today’s world by Hillary Clinton in her remarks to the 1996 Democratic National Convention in Chicago and was reflected in the title of her book. But a more detailed examination of this ancient practice revealed that while the child had contact with every member of the village, there was always one older child (not a family member) who would be assigned the responsibility to ask questions and listen carefully to the younger child. In Swahili (one of the oldest languages on our planet), this questioning person was called, “Habari gani hekima” which, in English, means, a wise person who asks “What’s happening?”

Unfortunately, ancient history from Africa is significantly less documented in writing than either Greek or French sources, so this story has received too little attention. Yet its veracity is founded both on the idea that it precedes Homer’s poem and the work of Fénelon, and that it recognizes the importance of and responsibility for passing on the wisdom of the elders to younger generations.

“Thousands of years ago, civilizations flourished in Africa which suffer not at all by comparison with those of other continents. In those centuries, Africans were politically free and economically independent. Their social patterns were their own and their cultures truly indigenous.”

~ Haile Selassie (1892-1975) ~

Emperor of Ethiopia

4. Cave Paintings & Tourism

La Grotte de Niaux is a prehistoric cave located high in the Pyrenees in southern France. After walking through the silent and womb-like stillness, a visitor emerges into a large, domed space filled with ceiling paintings, estimated to have been created somewhere between 12,000 and 9,000 BC. While most of the paintings depict horses and bison, there is one theme that is repeated in many places. This painting shows a group of men taking children to what at that time was considered the edge or end of their physical world. The men exhort the children to be brave and expand their reach beyond the borders of the present world. Some believe that the origin of the term “mentor” comes from what has been loosely translated in these ancient depictions as ‘men’ taking children on a ‘tour.’

5. The Vikings & the God Thor

Although Odin was the chief god in Norse mythology, at around 550 AD there was a small group of Vikings who pledged exclusive allegiance to Thor, son of Odin and the god of thunder, the sky and fertility. Thor had a reputation of being particularly fierce and brutal towards his enemies, and so did his group of dedicated followers. When plundering a village or settlement, they would kill every man, woman, and child, as well as any livestock that they couldn’t eat or carry away. However, before executing their hapless victims, these fierce brutes would choose one male child to become a member of their clan. One of the older Vikings would be assigned to teach and train the boy in their ways and customs, and in this manner the child would become one of the feared ‘men of Thor.’ The word “mentor” is believed to have originated from this bizarre relationship between the captured boy and his Viking custodian. (Thanks to Marnie Bosman for researching this story.)

We conclude this essay with a quote from British author and philanthropist J.K. Rowling, “There’s always room for a story that can transport people to another place.”

Masaru Emoto (1943-2014): The Godfather of Water: Remembering His Legacy

Masaru_EmotoAuthor, researcher, and entrepreneur, Dr. Emoto’s passion was teaching his “Messages in Water.” He trained over 350 instructors from around the world to teach new generations about the truth and sacredness of water as he outlined in his book, Hidden Messages from Water and the Universe.

His followers and those he mentored believe their lives were changed personally and collectively by his pioneering research which they believe resulted in a wave of transformation, awakening and shift in collective consciousness around the planet.

Those he mentored believe he gave them a greater sense of themselves and an ability to create positive change by shifting their thoughts, words, emotions and intentions. Louise Hay said his work “gave me a new respect for water. I began blessing with love every glass of water I drank. Labels with positive words and affirmations soon appeared on my faucets, showerhead, garden watering cans, the toilets, every other water source I had, and all the many bottles of water I carried everywhere.”

His last words were “Arigatou”. (“Thank you” in Japanese), which in Japanese means to be grateful for our own existence.