Mentoring Quotes Booklet Available as a Gift

Quotes are a valuable way to create value in mentoring. They can serve as a source of inspiration, an acknowledgment of value gained, a tool for clarifying ideas and act as a catalyst for reflection and learning.

Over the years, I have collected a variety of quotes which I originally used in workshops, training, and professional publications. Sometimes quotes lend credibility to ideas since many of the quotes come from well-known persons in history or contemporary society.

Quotes can also be used as a basis for discussion of ideas and meaning. I’ve also used the quotes as the basis for an experiential exercise with participants by asking a question about the quote such as ‘how might this relate to your experience?’ You may find that a quote reminds you of a story or anecdote. Maybe the quote has a special meaning for you. This curated e-book provides an opportunity for users to make notes or add reflections about the quotes to make them more useful in discussing mentoring or conducting training sessions.

To download the entire 22-page booklet: http://goo.gl/bhPX8k

If you find value in this booklet, please consider making a donation to Wounded Warriors Canada, a peer mentoring service for veterans, first responders and their families. Donations can be made here: https://woundedwarriors.ca/

All the best for the Holiday Season.

 

10,000 Mentoring Relationships Detailed in the Mentoring Hall of Fame

HallofFame3We reached a milestone in our collection of famous mentoring relationships in our curated collection known as The Mentoring Hall of Fame.

The list of mentor pairs was compiled by Rey Carr from a variety of sources including autobiographies, biographies, newspaper articles, personal interviews, and diligent historical research. Mentor pairs portrayed in fiction or movies are also included.

Pairings are divided into ten general categories. In most cases, mentors and their partners could be included in the same category. However, where a mentor and partner are from different career or life areas, the pairing has been placed in the partner’s category. (A few historical facts or humorous references to the term mentor are included at various places in the listings.)

The Categories include:

  • Actors, Comedians, Producers, and Directors (Stage, Screen, and TV
  • Mentoring relationships depicted in motion pictures and television
  • Musicians, Songwriters, and Singers
  • Classical and Broadway Musicians, Composers, Conductors, Ballet, and Modern Dancers
  • Fashion, Media, and Celebrities
  • Artists, Writers, Photographers, Publishers, Novelists, Poets
  • Mentoring relationships depicted in print (novels stories, fiction)
  • Sports Figures, Athletes, and Coaches
  • Historical, Political, Spiritual and Civic Leaders
  • Business, Industry, Education, Science, and Medical Leaders

Some of the latest additions:

American film icon and director Clint Eastwood was a mentor to American director, screenwriter, and producer Michael Cimino (1939-2016); and is a mentor to Canadian film director Stephen Campanelli.

Minnesota Twins outfielder and baseball Hall of Fame member Kirby Puckett (1960-2006) is a mentor to Arkansas-born former professional baseball fielder Torii Hunter. He was remembered by one of the many people he mentored as a person who “Let us know we can pursue anything that we want to as long as we work hard.”

American short-story writer and poet Raymond Carver (1938-1988) considered his mentor to be American novelist, university professor and literary critic John Gardner  (1933-1982).

In Meg Wolitizer’s 2018 novel, The Female Persuasion, feminist Faith Frank is a mentor to college student Greer Kadetsky.

Kentucky-born American actor, director, activist and philanthropist George Clooney is a mentor to Boston-born American actor, director, producer and screenwriter John Krasinski.

Terrace, British Columbia-born Canadian choreographer, and dancer Crystal Pite is a mentor to award-winning Puerto Rico-born American dancer and choreographer Bryan Arias.

Former Vietnamese Prime Minister and economist Phan Van Khai (1933-2018), who was the country’s first post-American War in Vietnam leader, was mentored by Vietnamese politician, former Prime Minister of Vietnam and revolutionary veteran soldier in the war against the French colonists and American forces, Vo Van Kiet (1922-2008).

Texas-born American jazz guitarist Herb Ellis (1921-2010) was a mentor to jazz guitarist Emily Remler (1957-1990).

British educator and social entrepreneur Sir Cyril Taylor (1935-2018) was described as a “true mentor” to many who worked with him. Sir Cyril considered Jimmy Coronna, the travel director of the American Institute for Foreign Study, as his mentor.

Shaping the Future: 150+ Canadian Mentoring Relationships

I’ve created a new e-book on Mentors and Mentoring in Canada. The book coincides with the celebration Canada’s 150th Anniversary. It includes more than 150 examples of mentoring relationships from all walks of life in Canada including sports, history, leadership, the arts, politics, entertainment, music, and business. I’ve also included ideas about the key principles associated with mentoring; how mentoring and coaching are the same and different; illustrations of mentoring relationships from my own life and what I learned from them; and examples of mentoring relationships experienced by well-known and lesser-known Canadians. To make it easier to find particular people and who mentored whom, I’ve included a name index. The e-book can be downloaded at no cost from http://goo.gl/IsJvWr 

   Feedback is welcomed and testimonials will be treasured.

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Latest Entries to the Mentor Hall of Fame

Latest Entries to the Mentor Hall of Fame

Virtually anyone can benefit from having a mentor. And most well-known, accomplished and successful people can identify people in their lives who acted as mentors.

The list of mentor pairs in the Mentor Hall of Fame was compiled by Rey Carr from a variety of sources including autobiographies, biographies, newspaper articles, personal interviews, and diligent historical research. Mentor pairs portrayed in fiction or movies are also included.

Pairings are divided into ten general categories. In most cases, mentors and their partners could be included in the same category. However, where a mentor and partner are from different career or life areas, the pairing has been placed in the partner’s category. (A few historical facts or humorous references to the term mentor are included at various places in the listings.)

The categories include

  • Actors, Comedians, Producers and Directors (Stage, Screen, and TV)
  • Mentoring relationships depicted in motion pictures and television
  • Musicians, Songwriters, and Singers
  • Classical and Broadway Musicians, Composers, Conductors, Ballet, and Modern Dancers
  • Fashion, Media, and Celebrities
  • Artists, Writers, Photographers, Publishers, Novelists, Poets
  • Mentoring relationships depicted in print (novels stories, fiction)
  • Sports Figures, Athletes, and Coaches
  • Historical, Political, Spiritual, and Civic Leaders
  • Business, Industry, Education, Science, and Medical Leaders

Here are some of the latest entries to the Mentor Hall of Fame:

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Mentor in Memorium: Edward Albee (1928-2016)

I met playwright Edward Albee when he was in Los Angeles shortly after Elizabeth Taylor won the Academy Award for best actress in the film version of Albee’s play, “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf.” He ordered something from the drug store in Beverly Hills where I was working doing deliveries. I got to deliver his order to him while he was staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I had his name on the delivery sheet and I recognized him right away when he answered the door himself.

He was very friendly and he asked me if I also delivered stuff to other Hollywood people and named a couple of names. I said I wasn’t allowed to reveal any of the names of our customers. He launched into some caustic and funny comments about “movie people” particularly Jack Warner (the studio head), Richard Burton (who played opposite Elizabeth Taylor and was also nominated for a best actor Academy Award), and Jack Valenti (the head censor in Hollywood). I remember those names in particular because they were all involved with the movie version.

After this meeting, I started reading everything he wrote. The dialogue in his plays was always sparkling, acerbic, and witty. I had never seen a play before I met him, so I owe my play-going life to meeting him in 1967.

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Recent Entries to Peer Resources’ Mentor Hall of Fame Database

I continuously update the Mentor Hall of Fame database. Many of the new entries come from books I read, or, more sadly, from obituaries of a mentor or a person who had a mentor.

As I may have noted in a previous post, one of the characteristics of mentoring is that when a mentor dies (or died some time ago), the mentoring doesn’t actually stop. That is, a mentor has left a legacy inside the person they have mentored that continues on for a lifetime. So I do not characterize a mentoring relationship as Person X “was a mentor” to Person Y, if person X has died. Instead, I will use the phrase “Person X is a mentor to Person Y to indicate that mentoring continues even after the mentor has passed on.

Canadian activist/author Mel Hurtig (1932-2016) is a mentor to Canadian author,  activist, and leader of the Council of Canadians Maude Barlow.

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Access the entire Mentor Hall of Fame database.

Three Questions to Jumpstart a Peer Group Meeting

A common thread that ties peer assistance work to mentoring and coaching is the increasing use of group models (peer coaching and peer mentoring along with peer helping) to provide services or supervision, and assist participants to accomplish their goals more effectively and more quickly.

In both peer mentoring and peer coaching, group members typically distribute leadership within the group and take turns initiating activities to act as a catalyst for all members. Peer assistance differs somewhat because there is typically an assigned leader or supervisor, but the leader still works toward increasing the empowerment of each member to act as a leader for all other members.

Participants in all three types of groups, when given the opportunity to act as the group leader for any session, often wonder about how to start the group. Typically, this start-up is called a warm-up, transition or check-in activity. Most leaders want to get off to a good start and energize, focus, or center the members with an activity that will act as a lead-in to the group’s agenda or purpose for being together. And while often a leader’s desire is to use a “fun” activity, all too often the activity chosen is only marginally related to the group’s purpose or more formal agenda.

Peer Resources has devised a group beginning activity that is highly effective in helping a group get started with an enjoyable “ritual”, deepen the connection of the group members to each other, provide a strong foundation for the group’s upcoming agenda, and provide an opportunity for participants to help, support, and encourage one another. The activity is called “trinity,” and while it has a strong spiritual element, it is spelled with a lower case “t” so that it won’t be confused with the more religious meaning of Trinity.

Trinity consists of three questions. Any member of the group can start and provide an answer to the first question and from there each group member, one after another, provides their own unique answer to the first question. The first question is: “What am I grateful for today?” The range of answers to this question can be far-ranging, and it is purposely asked as a “what” question instead of a “who” question, although it is perfectly acceptable to identify a person. No discussion of responses needs to occur; the idea is to quickly create an atmosphere of “gifts” we each have in our lives and a mood of heartfelt connection.

When everyone in the group has volunteered their response to the first question, another group member can ask and be the first to respond to the second question: “What are my intentions for today?” Responses to this question can focus on outcomes, feelings, accomplishments, or even how a participant wants to respond if things don’t go as planned.

The third question that concludes this opening ritual is started by a group member asking, “What’s most important today?” In peer assistance groups a variation of this question is: “Considering what you are going to engage in over the next week as a peer helper, what’s the most important thing you want to accomplish today?”

Sometimes a fourth question is included after participants have identified what’s important: “What can I do today to integrate my gratitude, my intentions, and what I think is important?”

While it might be possible to spend an entire session on the answers participants give to just these questions, the questions are really meant to create a start-up climate or mood that will help every participant to be present and focused. Various responses can be noted or placed in a “parking lot” for further exploration at a later date, if appropriate.

If SpiritMentor readers try out these questions, I’d appreciate hearing about how they worked. I’m grateful to communications specialist and writer Laura Lallone for providing the reminder of the power of these questions and giving permission to adapt them here.

Want Some Help? (Guest Blogger Richard Bach)

(I’m blessed to know people who are great bloggers (writers) and are willing to let me share their work with people who appreciate growth and development. Today’s guest article is by Richard Bach, the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull,  Illusions, and other terrific books. His post reminded me of how important spirit mentors have been and continue to be in my own development. Readers can subscribe to Richard’s blog at richardbach.com/.)

“EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, and only sometimes, maybe we can use a little bit of help.

Perhaps we’ve lost a job that we really liked, perhaps we’re in the midst of a divorce, or perhaps the dog that we were hoping might live forever, maybe she’s just died. Those are difficult times.

In the midst of such times, wouldn’t it be wonderful if there were one person in all the world, someone we loved and who knew just how to help us at that moment?  One who had the perfect ideas and exactly the equipment we needed to put us back on our wheels again?

Here’s an example. Let’s say that all these bad things have happened to us and suddenly we’ve driven over the edge a life-crater, and the only thing we could think to do then is to sit on the bumper of our car (which fell to the bottom of the crater, on its side, in the mud) and cry.

We’re in the crater, crying, and about then do we hear this faint little sound, from a long way away (chug-chug-chug…). If only we could have called somebody, but when we tried to do that, our phone died, too.

(chug-chug-chug… louder now.)

With any luck, we were thinking, we could have brought a gun with us and ended our  misery at last, but it turned out that we had left it at home this one time that we needed it.

Now the chugs are louder still and all of a sudden from above the rim of the crater we’re in, here’s the one person we hoped would come to save us, and she’s brought her industrial heavy-duty crane along with her.

She calls down to us, ‘Want some help?’

We would have kissed her, but twenty feet down in the crater, that wasn’t going to happen, so we just looked up at her through our tears.

Her crane is quiet now, not so much noise. Before we can imagine an answer, she shouts again, ‘Would you like a cookie?’

Before we could tell her that we need a lot more than a cookie, down comes a package from her. Bad-news good-news time. We missed the catch and it fell into the mud. But the package was not torn and with only a little effort we open it and in a minute we feel a little better than we did before. Our friend is gone for a minute and the next thing we see, looking up, is that her crane is peeking way over the edge of our crater and a heavy steel cable swings down toward us with a big hook at the end.

Is that strange or what? We prayed for help and here it is!

After our wheels rest on the highway again, she disconnects the big hook from our car.

‘There’s some left,’ we say, while we return the package to her, five cookies lighter. ‘How did you know…?’

‘Happens all the time,’ she says. ‘Some days you’ll think about a person you love and we your friends can tell. You can use some help, all right, and what we have along with us, it turns out to be just what you need.’

She hands the package back. ‘I have lots of emergency cookies in the cab. Keep these with you. They’re always nice to have with you while you recover from a crater.’

What an amazing story this is! And what’s even amazinger is that this story happens to everyone who needs help, anyone who has taken time to meet the ones who would be their helpers.

I learned how to meet them years ago. Chances are that you’ve met some friends then, too. From time to time we forget that they’re there, and we spend a minute sitting on the bumper and crying before we remember that we have helpers no matter how deep our crater may have been.

When I was 12, I met Horatio Hornblower of the British Royal Navy, 1795, through an introduction of C.S. Forester. Hornblower would sail into terrible events at sea, enemies and explosions all around him, yet he used his good sense, his powerful will and his fundamental sense of right, and a little bit of what seemed to be luck, to avoid being destroyed.

At that time there were just two books about Horatio. I loved those books! It took me a while before I discovered that I had become his friend, that I could call on the same qualities that he had used to keep me from being destroyed. I found that I had learned from him to avoid the enemies and explosions during terrible events in my own life. When I had to fight, I could call on him to teach me how to fight the instant before it was necessary.

About the same time, I realized, that I had found a powerful friend and advisor in my mother, Ruth Helen Bach. She’s been dead for 50 years now, but I still hear her in my mind. ‘Take it easy, dear son, think your problems out, first. If you must fight, learn about the nature of your enemy, and discover, perhaps, that beneath their masks they may be your friends.’

Not aware of what I was doing, I began to build my own Board of Advisors. Of course I knew that I was the Chief Executive Officer, my decisions would determine what would happen in my life. But in time I learned how to convene my advisors before I made any major decision.

One day I added Antoine de Saint-Exupery to my Board. Saint-Ex believed in the importance of our mission on earth, important enough for him nearly to die in the sands of the desert, in the storms of the sky, and finally he died flying for the principles of the country he loved.

I found that my Board can be of any size I wish, and represents any idea that mirrors my own values. Today on my Board of Advisors are four living mortals, eight deceased mortals, 13 fictional mortals in various costumes, and two dogs.

You may suspect that one of the fiction souls may be Bethany Ferret, the captain of the Ferret Rescue Service Boat 101, the Resolute. You’d be right, of course. Such a gentle quiet unstoppable force to save lives, of course she’s there! In those five books of the Ferret Chronicles, I count eight of the characters who are now my Advisors. I could list them, but that’s what the books do, they tell why these characters are each teaching me how to reflect their own qualities.

Of course some of my spirit guides are there, and the two most loving dogs that ever have I met.

Look over my Advisors and there’s a painting of my own wish of the ideals I live for.

How do they work in practice?

When I’m desperately tired, when I want to stop instead of fighting on against fatigue, I call on one advisor, Bruce Lee. And strange things begin to happen. As soon as I call on Mr. Lee, he responds with a sudden burst of hidden energy, and it stays until my job is finished. Not just a belief of energy, but living real power, expressed in an instant number of finite physical foot-pounds required to complete the task.

That’s their gift.  The Advisors open an electric rainbow of energy, physical, mental, creative energy, that brings me through the challenges of any day.

How can I talk about these silly ideas for my thoughtful and reasonable readers? Isn’t the suggestion of an invisible Board of Advisors, isn’t this crazy stuff?

My friend (and Advisor) Donald Shimoda all of a sudden appeared to me as I was writing this, with an answer:

‘Of course it’s crazy stuff! You write about crazy things because they work for you! And now you think it will work for anyone who calls on the power of beautiful ideas. Bless you for writing these words, dear Richard!’

What can I say? Except for his polite blessing part, he’s right.”

(Note: In the comments section below feel free to list your own Board of Spiritual Mentors.)

Mentoring Plays a Role in Contemporary Music: Part II

MENTORS Peer Resources LogoVirtually anyone can benefit from having a mentor. And most well-known, accomplished and successful people can identify people in their lives who acted as mentors. The mentor pairing that is described in this article was identified from a variety of sources including autobiographies, biographies, newspaper articles, personal interviews, and diligent historical research. An extensive list of additional well-known mentor pairings, including those from TV, motion pictures and fiction, can be found on the Peer Resources website at www.mentors.ca/mentorpairs.html.

In addition to the list of mentor pairs from the world of entertainment, business, creative arts, sports, politics, history, and science available in the Peer Resources listings, a few historical facts or humorous references to the term mentor are also included.

On many occasions, we have featured the mentoring relationships of various well-known musicians, singers and songwriters. But behind almost every successful artist there is a producer or music business specialist who has played a significant role in identifying and developing the artist’s musical talent.

Even these music business specialists attribute their own success in business to someone who took the time to mentor them. UK citizen Don Grierson, legendary Vice President of A&R at Epic, Capitol, and EMI, is directly responsible for signing and/or working with some of the world’s most noted artists including Celine Dion, Heart, Iron Maiden, Sheena Easton, Joe Cocker, Wasp, Bad English, Little River Band, George Clinton, J. Geils Band, Kate Bush, Gloria Estefan, The Jacksons, Duran Duran, Tina Turner, Queen, Indigo Girls, Spin Doctors, Alice Cooper, and many, many more.

Awbrey Madison, a Los Angeles-based independent artist, said that “Don has been a great mentor and I am currently working on my second project with him. He is a professional who knows every facet of the music business, goes the extra mile to find the best musical fit, and is great at finding the right people to work with. Above all, he is a great guy who’s honest and supports the artist’s vision. I count myself very lucky to have someone like Don Grierson guiding my career!”

Don attributes much of his success to his mentor Jerry Moss, an American recording executive, best known for being the co-founder of A&M Records (he is the “M” in A&M Records). Don says that he owes his success, in part, to “Jerry saying to me ‘I believe in you.’ That support led me to work hard, and now I work hard to help others have their dreams. My advice to anyone who wants to be successful in the music business is to believe in yourself, hone your craft, fight for yourself, and educate yourself.”

“In my experience, a mentor doesn’t necessarily tell you what to do, but more importantly, tells you what they did or might do, then trusts you to draw your own conclusions and act accordingly. If you succeed, they’ll take one step back, and if you screw up, they’ll take one step closer. What it is they teach you…pass it on.”

~ Michael J. Fox ~

Canadian actor and father

Foundation for Parkinson’s Research